I have been saved!

Written by Chiara

Have you ever heard a Christian ask ’Have you been saved?’. Maybe you haven’t been asked that personally but I bet you have at least heard those words before. I used to think ‘Why can’t they just ask you about your conversion instead? Why do they have to make it sound so dramatic?’ and I found it pathetic…Until it happened to me.

I have been saved. Yes, I have been saved! Jesus has healed. For 6.5 years I have been suffering from eating disorders (both anorexia and bulimia), depression and anxiety (especially social anxiety) and struggled with self-harm and drinking. But Jesus has completely healed me. All the glory to the Father! I feel like it’s a miracle…Sometimes I look back at where I was at my sickest point. Weighing myself up to 6 times a day, drinking the first thing in the morning, doing 500 sit-ups all at once, counting calories, spending the school breaks self-harming in the restroom. I remember times when I wasn’t even able to drink and would close my mouth while showering because I was so afraid of getting anything inside of me, even a drop of water. Times when my anxiety was so bad I couldn’t take the main stairs in school but had to take those of the fire exit. Times when my anxiety would cause me involuntary muscle spasms and panic attacks. Times when I considered committing suicide. So many things could have gone wrong. After all I put my body through, it’s a miracle in itself that I never suffered from heart or kidney failure! Suffice to say I could have lost my life so many times. I couldn’t feel more blessed to be alive today! I feel I’ve got absolutely everything I need and want in my life because I’ve restored my relationship with Christ, I’ve grown so close to Him. I absolutely love my life and wouldn’t change it with anyone. My soul has been completely restored and renewed. I feel as if Jesus has not only given me my life back but He’s given me the 100fold! I have never felt so much love, peace and joy in my whole life! It’s amazing!

For to me, to live is Christ and to die is gain. (Phil. 1:21)

I can do all things through him who gives me strength. (Phil. 4:13)

I’ve often been told by my mom that I’m not humble. I used to have so much pride and I believe that’s one of the reasons it has taken me so long to recover. I always wanted to show people how strong I was and always thought I’d failed if I asked someone for help with anything. I would never want people to know about my struggles…unless there’s a really good reason.

Now, here’s the thing. The Lord has put this huge desire in my heart to share my testimony with others. I have tried to keep it to myself, but it is just too hard. When something so incredible happens to you, when you are overflowing with the love and joy of Christ (and…when you have been saved!;) you just feel like you want to stand on the rooftops, praise God and tell the whole world! The Gospel calls us to share the Good news and I feel like it would be selfish for me not to share my story. I feel like that man in the Bible who was possessed by evil spirits and got healed by Jesus. After Jesus had completed the miracle and was leaving him, the man begged Jesus to go with him. But Jesus wouldn’t let him and said ‘Go back home to your family and tell them how much the Lord has done for you and how kind he has been to you.’ (Mark 5:19)

I believe testimonies can change lives. I was changed and inspired by especially one young woman. She was the testimony I needed to hear. I didn’t know there was a way out unless she had showed me that there is real and complete healing in Christ. I hope to be that person for others. There are just so many people out there suffering with these same issues. I pray that God will use me to encourage others to turn to Jesus, surrender to Him and let Him take over their lives. I pray people will come to realize through my testimony what God’s unfailing love and mercy longs to do for each one of us: Give us life, and life to the full!

For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you a hope and a future. (Jeremiah 29:11)

This does not happen. You don’t just ‘recover’. You have to go to treatment centers for years before you recover and people still relapse after that. The fact that Jesus completely healed me just proofs what incredible things faith can do. It can truly move mountains and make miracles happen! But you need that complete faith. Like that woman in the Gospel who touched Jesus’ cloak. She touched Him differently than all the other people surrounding Jesus. She touched Him with expectation. She didn’t just know He could heal her, but she believed it. And that’s how I surrendered to Jesus. I laid all my issues down at His feet. I surrendered my whole life, my whole self to Him. And that’s when He healed me. The moment you decide to wholeheartedly follow God’s plan for your life and humbly submit to Him in complete faith, that’s when miracles happen. When you surrender yourself to God, He will turn you into the most beautiful flower you’ve ever seen.

There’s nothing I’d rather do in my life now than to give Him glory for what He’s done for me. I’m alive and completely recovered today because of the love and mercy of the Father. I’ve told Jesus so many times ‘I’m Yours! Here’s my life. Take it. Wherever You want me to go I’ll go!’ I wouldn’t be here if it wasn’t for Him. I owe my life to Jesus. He’s my Savior and Healer. He’s captured my heart and now I’m ready to go and set the world on fire for Him!

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This blog is a forum for discussion of ideas from a faith-based perspective. The views expressed on it are those of the authors and cannot be held to represent those of the Diocese of Nottingham or the University of Nottingham Catholic Chaplaincy.